Commander-in-Chiefs' are Important 'People'

Commander-in-Chiefs' are Important 'People'

If you are like me, who joined the Services, with zero exposure to defence Services and only 'Commando' art books and Alistair MacLean to go by, then you would understand that why I thought CinC's were very important 'persons'.

After actually joining the Services, it became I was convinced, that the CinC was personally monitoring my performance and progress as a Cadet in the Naval Academy. By the time the Passing-out-Parade was announced, it was evident to me that the CinC, other than me, was 'personally' monitoring the progress and performance of my drill instructor, Divisional officer, Canteen officer and the Librarian too! My respect for the CinC was greatly enhanced. 

Being academically below par, I had missed the 'Duties and Responsibilities' of the CinC in Service subjects. It is only during the Sea Cadets' time and and as a Midshipman (two times), and a few Annual Inspections thrown in between, I finally figured out that the CinC was INDEED an important 'person'. But much to my relief I also figured out that he wasn't really (like by God) not monitoring my progress or performance (yet).

I won't drag ths further. Time flew.

I was once the Board President of a SNC Inter-Galley Cooking Competition! The Board visited selected SNC units, far and wide. 'Tasting' food and following guidelines of a Navy Order. As expected, all units put their best 'food' forward during our inspection. 

The challenge was in units which had multiple galleys!

It was a Friday. Fishy friday in the Navy!

Galley 1 : Fish Fry

Galley 2 : Fish fry

Galley 3 : You guessed it right!

Galley 4 : Now you get it.

There were whispers : 'Officer cook' आया था galley में 😆. 

You're guessed it right, again : Cooks (Officers') were not to participate in the competition. Only the Ship's Galley(s).

The Board consisted of officers who were both pioneers in software development for the Indian Navy. But in those days they were seen as cry babies, forever demanding high end servers and the works. 

The result of the competition was all that the Board was required to submit. We did. I got fired, terribly, by my CO for not championing the cause of my own unit 😁

I, as the Board President, had also submitted an unsolicited but comprehensive report on the futility of the 'competition'. A report that POTUS Donald Trump's DOGE would be proud of today!

And then, as I went back to my 'duties', I forgot all about it.

Mind you! By now I KNEW CinC's don't bother with the stuff their Staff handle🤣 and especially know nothing about what I do or how I perform. SRO. Oops!!

Then one fine day, quite day, a couple of months later, a flutter. Flutter in the corridors. CO साब ने बुलाया. Flutter in my solar plexus. 

CO : "Did you submit a report alongwith results of Inter Galley Competition?"

Me : 🤔. Yes Sir.

CO : Who told you?

Me : 😲. Sir!

CO : What did you write?

Me : 😌. Sir, the futility of the whole exercise. 

CO : I got a call from the CSO(P&A).

Me : 😑 Sir.

CO : Someone put up your your report to the CinC 😡

Me : 😲Sir.

Me (Within) : Gulp.

Me (Within) : Do CinCs even READ such mundane reports? 😲

CO : CinC has directed to stop this wonderful competition based on your report 😡

Me (forever) : CinCs know everything, read everything, the minutest details. CinC knows every single person, activity, event,  individually. To the last detail.

About your unit and you. Hence, he is an important 'person'.

_As reminisced by Captain Rajshekhar Banerjee_.

Battle of Cattle

*Battle of Cattle*

Once during POP at Naval Academy (then in Goa) best laid plans were stalled by नंदी The Bull !!

Naval Academy was on hill top having large areas under thicket, scrub and brush. Therein lived a massive bull with a cow or two. Non domesticated and un-chasable because of the terrain. Cows being cows, docile and naturally inclined to be close to human habitation were often seen near messes, gardens, parks and staff quarters.

But their timing of being on the road during VIP visits was impressive 😁. The dry run to VIP visits was invariably a 'देखो' in front of CO's car 😄

Generations of COs, troops, morning PT groups, evening Games squads, QRT, माली, contractors couldn't either catch or chase them. This was much to the delight of the community of ladies and children who would feed रोटी and invoke prayers for the bovine safety. 

(To wit), a time came when the Hon Commission of the Bosunmate was lined-up his ability to capture or chase the Bull away (for the cows would be easy to catch thereafter, it was assumed).

This background is necessary to understand the events which unfolded on the day before the POP with the Air Chief Marshall being the Chief Guest and Reviewing Officer. Every conceivable Karmic Law started unfolding on the day.

It rained. No big deal. 

After the evening function presented by the Cadets the VIP convoy proceeded to the Wardroom lawns for reception. 

Sure enough AT THE APPOINTED HOUR, the The Bull presented himself at a right-angled turn, obscured by pretty bougainvillea.

The VIP convoy Pilot and out-riders negotiated The Bull as they were all from the unit. But the VIP car was hired!

The VIP convoy, as mandated and exercised, maintained distance, speed and elan! However the bewildered hired car driver was taken by complete surprise by the mountain of a bull (who had by then positioned himself bang in the middle of the road). He was STILL.

As you already know, it was evening enough to be dark and the road wet. Suddenly, the 'Street Illumination Enhancement' Works' file - still not cleared by the MES - enveloped the CO's mind !!

The driver slammed the brakes. The ACM, a fighter pilot, was unfazed. The CO who was accompanying the ACM leapt out of the car. 

Shooo! Shooh! Livid. But The Bull was just on the brink of depositing the mightiest load of poo-doo-dung. He wouldn't budge at the shoo-ing of a mere CO💪

That is when Karmic Laws stuck again. The VIP hired car stalled!! After the very first failed attempt to restart, the ACM leapt out of the car and started walking towards the Wardroom lawns. The CO understood. The fighter pilot, ACM to boot, would have nothing to do with anything STALLED. 

How to I know the details?

I, who had, for the occasion, was, firstly permitted to bolt the auditorium before the programme ended: Was directed to receive the VIP at the Wardroom. 

So, when the VIP convoy reached the portico, albeit without the VIP car, I was perplexed. I rushed to the bend, and WHAT A SIGHT !!

The jovial ACM and the CO, enjoying the mild drizzle laughing, and walking up briskly. Knowing wise men!

Drizzle!! Couldn't scream. Turned back and waved to the' 'Umbrella team' to rush. They gave me quizzical looks from the safety of the portico. They wouldn't budge. Nope.

The distance was small and the two were gaining on my location. But by that time I wasn't looking at them. I was looking beyond them. Dozens of backup vehicles, ExO Gypsy, Regulating Officer's Gypsy,  private cars had all stopped around the bend. And a large body of gentlemen, in their evening mess uniform, WALKING BEHIND. In complete silence 😆

The ladies? Ohh! I have quite forgotten. It was such a minute in the passing.

The evening was full of mirth and every conceivable Naval disaster, goof up and Air Safety stories were discussed with great mirth and bereft of seriousness. A book rivalling 'On the Psychology of Military Incompetence' could very well have taken shape that night. 

Next morning the Cadets, as expected, gave an exceptional account of themselves on the drill square. Military matters and a stirring speech by the VIP ensured complete silence on the past evening's incident at the post POP refreshments. 

*Hot Washup*

One major issue that was discussed, was; why had I failed to spot The Bull when permitted to bolt the auditorium a few minutes earlier than the VIP.

_As reminisced by Captain Rajshekhar Banerjee_.