Battle of Cattle

*Battle of Cattle*

Once during POP at Naval Academy (then in Goa) best laid plans were stalled by नंदी The Bull !!

Naval Academy was on hill top having large areas under thicket, scrub and brush. Therein lived a massive bull with a cow or two. Non domesticated and un-chasable because of the terrain. Cows being cows, docile and naturally inclined to be close to human habitation were often seen near messes, gardens, parks and staff quarters.

But their timing of being on the road during VIP visits was impressive 😁. The dry run to VIP visits was invariably a 'देखो' in front of CO's car 😄

Generations of COs, troops, morning PT groups, evening Games squads, QRT, माली, contractors couldn't either catch or chase them. This was much to the delight of the community of ladies and children who would feed रोटी and invoke prayers for the bovine safety. 

(To wit), a time came when the Hon Commission of the Bosunmate was lined-up his ability to capture or chase the Bull away (for the cows would be easy to catch thereafter, it was assumed).

This background is necessary to understand the events which unfolded on the day before the POP with the Air Chief Marshall being the Chief Guest and Reviewing Officer. Every conceivable Karmic Law started unfolding on the day.

It rained. No big deal. 

After the evening function presented by the Cadets the VIP convoy proceeded to the Wardroom lawns for reception. 

Sure enough AT THE APPOINTED HOUR, the The Bull presented himself at a right-angled turn, obscured by pretty bougainvillea.

The VIP convoy Pilot and out-riders negotiated The Bull as they were all from the unit. But the VIP car was hired!

The VIP convoy, as mandated and exercised, maintained distance, speed and elan! However the bewildered hired car driver was taken by complete surprise by the mountain of a bull (who had by then positioned himself bang in the middle of the road). He was STILL.

As you already know, it was evening enough to be dark and the road wet. Suddenly, the 'Street Illumination Enhancement' Works' file - still not cleared by the MES - enveloped the CO's mind !!

The driver slammed the brakes. The ACM, a fighter pilot, was unfazed. The CO who was accompanying the ACM leapt out of the car. 

Shooo! Shooh! Livid. But The Bull was just on the brink of depositing the mightiest load of poo-doo-dung. He wouldn't budge at the shoo-ing of a mere CO💪

That is when Karmic Laws stuck again. The VIP hired car stalled!! After the very first failed attempt to restart, the ACM leapt out of the car and started walking towards the Wardroom lawns. The CO understood. The fighter pilot, ACM to boot, would have nothing to do with anything STALLED. 

How to I know the details?

I, who had, for the occasion, was, firstly permitted to bolt the auditorium before the programme ended: Was directed to receive the VIP at the Wardroom. 

So, when the VIP convoy reached the portico, albeit without the VIP car, I was perplexed. I rushed to the bend, and WHAT A SIGHT !!

The jovial ACM and the CO, enjoying the mild drizzle laughing, and walking up briskly. Knowing wise men!

Drizzle!! Couldn't scream. Turned back and waved to the' 'Umbrella team' to rush. They gave me quizzical looks from the safety of the portico. They wouldn't budge. Nope.

The distance was small and the two were gaining on my location. But by that time I wasn't looking at them. I was looking beyond them. Dozens of backup vehicles, ExO Gypsy, Regulating Officer's Gypsy,  private cars had all stopped around the bend. And a large body of gentlemen, in their evening mess uniform, WALKING BEHIND. In complete silence 😆

The ladies? Ohh! I have quite forgotten. It was such a minute in the passing.

The evening was full of mirth and every conceivable Naval disaster, goof up and Air Safety stories were discussed with great mirth and bereft of seriousness. A book rivalling 'On the Psychology of Military Incompetence' could very well have taken shape that night. 

Next morning the Cadets, as expected, gave an exceptional account of themselves on the drill square. Military matters and a stirring speech by the VIP ensured complete silence on the past evening's incident at the post POP refreshments. 

*Hot Washup*

One major issue that was discussed, was; why had I failed to spot The Bull when permitted to bolt the auditorium a few minutes earlier than the VIP.

_As reminisced by Captain Rajshekhar Banerjee_.